I was scared to propose — Steve Babaeko

Steve Babaeko, owner of X3m, a record label, is married to Yetunde, a celebrity photographer. They share the fondest memories of their eight-year-old union

How did you meet?

Steve: I was working at an advertising agency, Prima Garnet, as a young copywriter trying to survive when Yetunde came over to the office for a presentation. She was born in Nigeria but raised in Germany. She left Nigeria when she was five and had not been back up until then. She had planned to stay for six months in Nigeria in order to explore the business opportunities but after our paths crossed, she stayed.



What qualities endeared you to each other?

Yetunde: The connection between Steve and I is actually very clear. He is into advertising while I am into photography. The attraction was his drive and passion for work. Although we weren’t directly working together when me met, I could tell he was hardworking . He wasn’t even on dreadlocks at the time.

Steve: I thought she was and still is a very beautiful woman. The first day I met her she was talking about photography and I was blown away by how passionate she spoke about photography. I was attracted the more to her because of her works. Photography is also an arm of advertising and it is a creative enterprise. That creative spark was no doubt an attraction and we complement each other a lot. I wasn’t attracted to her because she was half-caste. I saw a gorgeous woman who was passionate about her work and had a very beautiful mind.

How does it feel, eight years down the line?

Steve: To be honest, it feels awesome and just like yesterday. You don’t really count the days as they go by because the great times that we have had make it look like it was just yesterday. We are grateful to God for all the mercies and all the good things that happened to us over the years.

How long did your courtship last?

Steve: We dated for just a couple of months and then, we started living together. I met her on October 13, 2003 and by December we were practically living together. It was a pretty quick one. Again, its gives lie to the theory that you have to know someone for 10 years or more, because I have had very minimal challenges in this relationship.

How did you propose?

Steve: I proposed to her during a winter holiday trip to Germany. She once told me a story about how, as a little girl, she lost a pair of shoes while crossing a wooden bridge. For some funny reason that story stuck to my mind. I had wanted to get married to her when we began dating in 2003 but she insisted she wasn’t ready for marriage. Around 2006, I bought a ring but I was scared to propose. I took her to the bridge and said, “This is the bridge where you lost a shoe and I want it to be where you will gain a husband; will you marry me?” It sounds rather stupid but I am glad she said yes at once.

Why did you agree to marry him?

Yetunde: I did so because I was starting to enjoy Nigeria and then I met him. I guess it was just fate because when I met him, I was young and not thinking about marriage at all. But then, love happened. We started dating almost immediately. He was very intelligent and exposed. Ironically, before he met me, he hadn’t even left the country at the time. He was very kind, generous and very driven. I can’t describe Steve without the words— professional and focused.

Did you face any resistance from family members?

Steve: If I didn’t face any resistance then it wouldn’t have been me because I have had to struggle for everything I have gotten in life. My wife is no exception. I faced serious opposition because this was a woman who was supposed to spend just six months in Nigeria but now she is talking of getting married to one guy. I had to go out of my way to show her family that my intentions were genuine.

Yetunde: My parents were surprised because I didn’t come to Nigeria looking for marriage, I was just 25 years old and marriage was far away from my mind. There was the element of surprise and skepticism at first. His mother was warm but she was a bit skeptical at first because I was half-Nigerian.

Who is better at remembering memorable dates?

Steve: My wife hardly remembers anything and it is my duty in the house to remember important dates. She hardly remembers and could forget her birthday. Having stayed with me, she is getting better at remembering those dates.

Who apologises first after a misunderstanding?

Steve: I think it is my wife, But I do the apologies now. In the early days of my marriage, she was first to apologise. Thankfully, we hardly even quarrel these days. It’s weird.

Yetunde: Communication is key but sometimes, we fight and then go quiet for two, three and four days sulking and licking our wounds. Then, after we think through the entire episode from different perspectives, we calm down and then come together again. We never talk about the issue again once it is resolved.

Do you run a joint account?

Steve: Yes, we do even though I have to put more money than she does. She is the one that drives me and I feel privileged to have her. She is the one who pushes me to increase my savings and to plan ahead for children’s school fees. To reduce some of those frictions, I have learnt to also complement her and make some of those processes seamless.

What are some of the adjustments you have had to make?

Yetunde: We respect each other and we have come to like our differences through the years, instead of complaining. I like Nigerian food but once in awhile I still eat my English breakfast. I eat a lot of bread in the morning because I can’t eat rice and stew. It just won’t flow and we don’t argue about that. At the beginning, I did more of the house chores because I spent more time at home. I still do. As things got better, we solved the problem by getting a helper.

How do create time to hang with each other?

Yetunde: To be honest, it has been long because Steve has his own company and that is full-time. I have a studio and I am also a mother of three. We travel a lot and right now, it is not possible because we have a goal and target. It is all about not losing focus but we squeeze out time every time. We love to have family trips every year. Last year, we travelled to Zanzibar, which was beautiful. Before then we use travelled to Germany.